Public Displays of Underwear

I took the girls to my favorite redneck swimming pool today. At this particular pool, all the women are very round and wearing unfortunate bathing suits, there is always someone swimming in the pool that is fully clothed, and the number of tramp-stamp back tattoos is overwhelming. Also, there are five billboards lining the street that advertise bail bondsmen, which leads me to believe that the people in the area have need of jail bailout.

I happen to like this pool and it is the one we frequently choose for swimming. Today was a great day - 88 degrees and a beautiful sky. Unfortunately, I managed to camp out by an unfortunate redneck neighbor.

She brought her two year old daughter with her and they were really enjoying the afternoon when all of the sudden she stripped all the swimming items off the two year old, who then danced around naked. I think this is inappropriate, especially in this day and age where pervs are more common due to media coverage. Also, there is the fact that the redneck pool provides a sanitary restroom, so everyone can have some privacy. It was then at that moment that the woman discovered some suntan lotion had leaked in her pool bag of supplies. Upset, she proceeded to hold up her enormous bra and underwear, inspecting them for light tan stains from the suntan lotion. I immediately thought that I don't want to see any brown stains, of any kind, on any public displays of underwear, thank you very much.

On the bright side, at least this woman has underwear. At the redneck pool, you never know...