Jealous Much?

Roxy was instantly jealous when Darby's questionnaire made it to the blog, so the Little Equalizer had to get a shot at it.

What is your idea of perfect happiness? doing gymnastics with my friends

What is your greatest fear? Scorpions, tarantulas, dogs, and snakes

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I just love myself all over

What is the trait you most deplore in others? when my friends don't follow the rules

What is your greatest extravagance? stuffed animals

What is your current state of mind? I'M HAPPY!

On what occasion do you lie? when I don't want to get in trouble

What do you dislike most about your appearance? My scars from my dog bite

Which living person do you most despise? People that say mean things

What is the quality you most like in a man? when they hold me upside down

What is the quality you most like in a woman? When they are fun

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "This is boring!"

Which talent would you most like to have? A professional gymnasticker

What do you consider your greatest achievement? climbing the rock wall

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? a orange striped cat named Mittens

Where would you like to live? In Georgia

What is your most treasured possession? Baby Sarah

What do you most value in your friends? Nice friends that play

Who are your favorite writers? Mo Willems

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Gerald and Piggy (from Mo Willem's beginning readers)

Which historical figure do you most identify with? Darby

What is it that you most dislike? Beans

What is your motto? I am an expert.

My Daughter the Enigma

I don't intend to focus solely on my children, but we have been together 24/7 this summer and I have passed my saturation point, so here's more dirt on my kids.

My oldest daughter Darby is showing an interest in my magazines. Not such a good thing sometimes, so I find ways to distract her. When she started looking at Vanity Fair this week, I had to act fast. So I gave her the Proust Questionnaire, a permanent feature of the magazine where someone notable reveals themselves through thought-provoking questions. Here is how Darby responded:

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Doing new, different things

What is your greatest fear? Too scary to go there

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Frizzy hair

What is the trait you most deplore in others? When people tell me I can't do something

What is your greatest extravagance? Limited Too clothes at full price

What is your current state of mind? Peaceful

On what occasion do you lie? When it is most necessary

What do you dislike most about your appearance? My chin

Which living person to you most despise? Control freaks

What is the quality you most like in a man? Laid-back-ness

What is the quality you most like in a woman? Bravery

Which words of phrases do you most overuse? Roxy, leave me alone!

Which talent would you most like to have? Being an actress

What do you consider your greatest achievement? My vocabulary

If you were to die and come back as a person of thing, what do you thing it would be? Tree

Where would you like to live? Montana

What is your most treasured possession? My large collection of books

What do you most value in your friends? Easy going, goofy, but intelligence

Who are your favorite writers? C.S. Lewis

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Despereaux the mouse

Which historical figure do you most identify with? Lousia Mae Alcott, she loved books

What is it that you most dislike? Members of my family that annoy me

What is your motto? Be Good Have Fun

She's A Twisted Sister

Over the past few days I have read Twilight (which must be to teens like John Hughes was to me) and I have learned to use our scanner. I have this twisted treasure to share.

On our unnerving trip to the Health Department where Darby had to sit for hours, waiting for a shot, Roxy decided to taunt her with a creepy picture. Roxy was truly excited that her sister would have to experience some pain, so she just ran with it. Along the bottom of the picture is Darby's arm and hand. Roxy added all the drawings except for the stinging bumblebee and the electrocution piece. The creepy looking Igor guy was really a snapping turtle. I don't know where she gets this stuff, but her father certainly has something to do with it. Annoyed and ticked off is how Darby felt about this - just the way Roxy likes her.

Dining Room Upgrade

I am 37 years old and have never had a dining room. Not even growing up. I can now serve a meal for more than four people and everyone can sit comfortably and dine. I am quite excited about this milestone. This room would not have been possible with out the numerous members from the Memorial Road church. We had a hearfelt going-away party that included monetary gifts for us. Scott and I were humbled and we chose to do something special with the gifts, so here it is. I really love my sideboard cabinet. Soon the blue and white wedding dishes will fill it up, but I just couldn't face unpacking another box today.

My First Voodoo Doll

There must be a market for this item somewhere. Please view the astounding construction, the disturbing angle of the limbs, the multiple, designer-added orifaces, the addition of alopecia to the doll's head. I'm taking bids for this one of a kind designer doll made by Darby. Just don't tell Darby I'm trying to get rid of it - Roxy will sleep better with it out of here.

Club Penguin

My girls love to go to the Club Penguin website. Roxy is a pink penguin and Darby is a funky penguin. The site is fun, but very problematic if you are six and still cannot read. The penguins below are from the Georgia Aquarium, the world's largest aquarium. It is a real showplace and very interesting. My family plus my parents and sister went last week together and it was a great trip. We saw everything and touched everything including sting rays. I hope to return one day when the other 10,000 people are staying home. The crowds were truly nuts.

I Hope We Don't Get Hepatitis

We (all four Franks' members) went to the Health Department today so we could get all the petty little Georgia forms prepared so Darby and Roxy can attend school. This is what happened:

Shining plastic flashlight in each girl's mouth - $10 this is a "dental exam"
Taking hearing test with unsanitized headphones - $22
Taking a self-administered eye exam - $22
One chicken pox shot for Darby - $14 I did not get to verify the origin of the needle. It was given to her in an office space, not a medical space. I still feel ill.

Time it took to complete all of the above - 2.5 hours

God, thank you so much for my overpriced insurance. I will never go to the unHealth Department again.