Monday, May 4, 2009

Feeling Old - The Sheree Franks Version

I have been collecting some old moments lately and I don't like it one bit. I can make a few suggestions on how to avoid these moments:

-Stop taking stairs and you won't hear your knees creak. I blame osteoarthritis and all those years in college when I stood at a cash register at Sam's Club, sifting through shopper's groceries, car batteries, 40 lb. bags of dog food, etc.

-Stop opening your mail and you won't notice the graduation announcement from the adorable girl who scattered rose petals at your wedding.

-Don't go to Old Navy, American Eagle, etc. I remember buying clothes at American Eagle over 20 years ago - they do not clothe old people there. Just don't go there.

-Stop accepting Facebook friends that remind you of your 20th high school reunion. Yikes.

-Avoid all mirrors with light over them - you will see the gray hair you inherited from your mother. My mother had a silver crown of locks, but I am getting skunk girl patches that will not obey my flat iron.

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