A Small, Hairy Connundrum

There is one person in our house that wants a pet.  She wants a pet so much she has practically transformed herself into a canine.  The father of the house has become increasingly concerned about the behavior of this daughter.  The realization of the importance of pets just hit him yesterday as he was standing in the daughter's room, surrounded by small furry animals, small furry animals on posters, small hairy animals on piles and piles of books, and the realization that there is one toy in the daughter's room that is not plush.

Scott:  Is she normal?
Sheree:  I think she is.  She is very cuddly and loves animals, so that is what she collects.
Scott:  Is is normal for her to STILL act like a dog?
Sheree:  I don't know.  Maybe...
Scott:  Should I get her a pet for her birthday?
Sheree takes in huge gulp of air. Somehow she finds words to continue:
Sheree:  What are you saying?  Are you saying you want a pet?
Scott:  No.  I don't want a pet, but should she have a pet?
Sheree:  I need to remind you that there are only two rules in our house: 1)Don't tickle daddy, and 2)No pets.
Scott:  I know.
Sheree:  I need to remind you that when we were talking about our future together as man and wife, I told you I wanted children and anything less was a dealbreaker.  You told me you never, ever wanted pets and that I should not be with you if I wanted pets.
Scott:  I don't remember that.
Sheree:  I do.  And I am not making this up.  We really did have this conversation.
Scott groans.
Sheree:  Maybe I shouldn't tell you about how Roxy has decided to pretend to be a dog when she bathes.  She wants me to shampoo her and trim her nails like a pampered poodle, and she wants to run away and shake off water droplets like naughty dogs do.
Scott groans again.

Roxy, you may be able to land the whale, to boldly go where no Franks' gal has gone before - to get the better of your daddy.  Just grind him down to a pathetic nub and you will get that dog!  You're almost there!